These past 3 months have been super tough. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God has supported, held, and carried me through a lot of darkness.
My feelings of everything has come in waves. I’d like to think I’m handling it all very well, but am I really?
In the past 3 months I have endured a major surgery with a long recovery, that alone can cause depression.
I have ended an almost 2 year relationship, which was for the best, but still was very emotionally taxing.
In that same moment, I have moved away and am now living with my family until I find a place to call home in OKC again.
(Don’t get me wrong, I am forever grateful for having such a wonderful family that moved me when I was on crutches and let me stay with them, invading their space.)
I am currently not working, although I do still have my job that I will be going back to in a few weeks. Money is tight, so that leads to extra stress. I also have been privileged to have great friends who let me sleep in their guest rooms while I attend physical therapy.
I am a ball of stress. Again, I like to think that I’m good and that I can handle anything that comes my way. I am not under the illusion that my life is the worst in the world. I know that I am beyond blessed and every day people die and are hungry, homeless, beaten, and broken. However, in my tiny little world inside of this big nasty world, this matters to me and has been hard to deal with.
I want to believe everything will be okay and for the most part, I think it will. This is the part where I believe I am being strengthened and supported, but carried when it gets too rough.
I know that this is all just another bump in life’s road and that there will be more to come. It’s a great comfort to me to know that once again, He will be there, holding me up and forever rescuing me from myself and this wretched world.